Ex Ski Bum Questions Point Of Career, Adulthood

Ryan Rogers ponders the loss of morning bong rips, first tracks, and unemployment checks at his cluttered office desk. Sam Morse photo.

A San Francisco accounting firm reported Friday that one of their newest employees — an ex ski bum — had officially burnt out after three days on the job and told numerous clients to do their own taxes.

The stress boiled over when newly-minted accountant and ex-dirtbag Ryan Rogers, 31, received a brand new stack of tax documents to review at approximately 4:45 p.m. Friday, just before the weekend.

Having followed the snow forecast in eager anticipation for multiple weeks, the overworked Rogers had planned to chase storms all weekend, but the newly-assigned files had put an abrupt end to the expectation of fun, freedom — and not staring at a computer screen.

RELATED: Drunken Bro Has Epic Line Snaked, skips town in stolen pizza delivery vehicle, flies away

Describing his stress level as "untenable" in a Skype interview with TGR, the fried and destitute Rogers could only rant his frustration following three days in the real world in hyperventilating gasps.

"Today was a powder day, and I missed it,” Rogers lamented over stacks of imposing documents. “This whole ‘real job’ thing totally sucks! People have been posting powder shots on the 'Gram all morning, and I'm stuck here — in an office — what the fuck am I doing!?”

“All these needy clients,” he continued, “they just suck the life out of me one collated report at a time. It’s always about them — their money, their savings, their schedule. What about MY schedule? MY powder? MY first-chair bragging rights? I’m sick of it!!”

All that work, constantly being sober and having to take daily showers really started to throw off my game. Now I can get back to the way life used to be — bong rips in the morning, pass-laps midday and endless hold-times with the unemployment office in the afternoon.

TGR’s interview with the stressed-out Rogers was cut short after his office phone rang for the 25th-consecutive time in just under an hour, sending him into a belligerent rage that threatened coworkers and all manner of office supplies.

According to colleagues who witnessed the tantrum, Rogers ripped the phone from the wall before hurling it at his supervisor. Screaming expletives, he shattered the Apple monitors on his desk with a 3-hole punch before diving headfirst out of a 2nd-story window.

His colleagues at the scene reported being terrified, but also slightly amused.

The moment Rogers said "fuck it" before all hell broke loose. Sam Morse photo.

Following the incident, a recovering Rogers phoned in from a chairlift just days into his newfound freedom, and confirmed that an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“After I got out of jail for destroying half of that office, I had an epiphany,” Rogers recounted. “All that work, constantly being sober and having to take daily showers really started to throw off my game. Now I can get back to the way life used to be — bong rips in the morning, powder laps midday, and endless hold-times with the unemployment office in the afternoon. I finally feel like I’m back on track.”

The emancipated ski bum said he was uncertain where his professional life would lead him next, but expressed tentative interest in getting back into "dishwashing and weed trimming.”

From The Column: The Bumion

Magic Carpet Replaces Tram, Locals Are Pissed

Retired Ski Patrol Dog Seeks New Meaning, Purpose

Goat Becomes Latest Victim in Trademark Lawsuit

Mega Pass Holder Can’t Wait to Ski Your…

Whistleblower Alleges Marketing Director Shoveled…

Why I Gave Up Everything (Except My Trust Fund) to…

‘Gravity Still Pulling Down’ TGR Study Finds

Adopt a Dirtbag® Campaign Unveiled by Epic Resorts

Kid On Leash Slowly Building Need For Lifelong…

Epic Resorts Adds Everest to 2020 Ski Pass

‘Flaming Land Shark’ Discovered in Grand…

How To Talk With Your Family About Peter Pan…

Mom Says ‘F**k It,’ Reveals Kids’ Dirtbaggery at…

Ex Ski Bum Questions Point Of Career, Adulthood

NPS says “F&#k It,” renames iconic park…

TGR Uncovers Ski School Admissions Scandal

Dog Wishes Mom Would Hurry the F*** Up and Drop In…

Hot Tub Poacher Brought Down After Interstate…

Bromance Deepens During Wild Angling Mission

​River Rat Spotted Bathing In Ski Town Waterway

View All

About The Author

Follow

Check Out Sam Morse on Google+

stash member Sam Morse

TGR Editor-at-Large. author of The Ski Town Fairytale and creative behind The Bumion. Lover of steep-and-deep lines, long trails—and hot springs waiting in the distance.