TR- Stryn (or nearly), Norway: 26 – 28 May

[horizon]

brought to you by horizon and Irbis


Every great adventure is beset by obstacles. Columbus said that, before he set sail, 'seven years passed in talk'. Ulysses had sirens ensnaring him with wondrous song, on his way back home. And the Titanic sank on its first trip.

Columbus and the others were lucky. They didn't have to contend with the man working for the Hertz desk in the Oslo airport. A man who should be sainted by some Eastern religions for his deep understanding of the illusory nature of time. Or at least that's the only way I can make sense of him taking three quarters of an hour to add me as a driver in the documentation.

You can't even make up time when driving. On the main road linking Oslo to central Norway, speed cameras sprout up as often as post-pluvial mushrooms, enforcing a strict (and very non-European) 55 miles/hr limit. At least I had enough hours to work out why the seat in our rented Citroen C5 turned on its heating at random intervals (if you're curious, my water bottle was stuck on the control button).

But time and miles eventually passed, and we found ourselves at our midway night-time stop, a camping in Otta, welcomed by a party of young Norwegian girls:



Next morning, we picked up our friend Stuart and his son Rob (who had arrived by train earlier). The latter had just polished off four plates of sausages and egg. (Rob's main interests are eating and digging holes – but more about that later).

We're seeing the first snow…


…and I'm smugly happy


On the way there, we spot some nice lines on this little peak:


Around 10 am we show up at our hotel and things start going wrong - the hotel owner tells us that the road to the Stryn summerski centre is flanked by 30-foot snow banks and the snowpack stability is so low that the authorities are not opening the road.

When great men face disaster, they are spurred into action. We aren't. So we sit down for a few minutes and consider our options. When we get outside the hotel, Rob tries to start a snowball fight. He's doing well for himself until he decides to hide inside the rental car, and I sneak in the backseat. My cold-hearted revenge waiteth not.

Then we drive off to Folven camping to meet hemas, Tri-Ungulate, teletori and a few other non-maggots. We find out that Tri-U has flown all the way from Utah to make a few turns at Stryn, and is still coming to terms with the place being closed. He's taking it like a man, i.e. goes strong on the beer. It puts our plight into perspective.

Afternoon comes and we decide that the time for skiing has come. So we drive off to this place where you climb 500 metres of vertical on one side and descend 800 on the other side. Here's a photo of the road:



Walking up



The sun comes out to greet Irbis, who plays it cool:



At the top (fjord behind us)



The top third of the run has creamy boot-top powder, which for end of May isn't at all bad. The lower half is more cut up, but not bad enough to stop me from speeding up:



We arrive to find Rob digging the first of many holes. His dad tries to whack him over the head with the shovel and we report him to the Child Welfare Association. But this is the first day of a long holiday weekend - no one's in the office, so he's all right.



One climb is enough for these cube jockeys, so we head off to see the fjord that was in the background earlier.

Dinner leaves a burning hole in our pockets (a steak costs about $44 at our hotel. Rob wants more but his Dad overrules him). Irbis and I head off to Folven camping and drink beers with the mags and other telemarkers, in hemas's New Age tent, which is literally held together with duct tape and sports a hole in the centre, perfect for humidifying the atmosphere (and the ground).

Irbis thinks that hemas's collection of Pentax lenses is phallic symbolism at its best. I didn't ask him what that meant, it sounded dirty.

The next day dawns (at about 3.30 am). We wake up around 8 and find a little food left after Rob's tsunami breakfast.

Hemas reckons there's a lift-served resort about 2 hours driving away. But we call and they say the offpiste is poor. So we go to a hotel a few miles down the road to get Rob kitted out (the lad has seriously big feet). There, the owner (of the hotel, a snowcat, a snowmobile and two draglifts, as far as I can make out – not a bad deal) offers us a ride halfway up the hill on his snowmobile. Quick to avoid effort, we accept. No pics of the snowmobile as he took us beyond the allowed limit (Norwegians are eco-warriors) and we don't want to make trouble for him.

Stuart points out to Rob where the peak is.



Rob starts out enthusiastically but soon has second thoughts:



While Irbis and I enjoy the trek and the weather.





At the top, Rob gets back his panache, with a side serving of wooziness:



Here's Stuart making fresh tracks in some corn:



To be honest, the snow was pretty crap – at least for those of us who hadn't waxed our skis (Irbis? Hello? New skis need to be waxed, too!) and who therefore straightlined the gnar at about 3.7 miles/hour.

But it was a good hike, great scenery which somehow reminded me of childhood landscapes, but the kind of childhood landscapes one creates in a daydream, pairing things one liked in different places. I just can't wait to be back (not to childhood. Some say I'm still there anyway). Great memories.

...and some fresh tracks:



We get to do another short climb late afternoon (start at 5.30pm, finish around 6.30 pm, as the sun is setting down and the crust gets to be about half an inch thick). This time we're all flying down, teeth chattering. We narrowly fail to chat up two Norwegian girls who are telemarking their way down. (Does NOBODY ski alpine around here?)

Back at the hotel, Rob digs another hole but Irbis stops him before he gets to China:



Evening arrives and we decide to eat dinner at the camping café. When a pizza turns out to be about $36, we're prepared and we stump up the cash for four of them. We're not prepared, however, for their size.

(this photo is taken the next day at lunchtime, which is when we managed to finish the fourth one)

[horizon]

Third and final day. Stuart and Rob get the bus back to Oslo, while Irbis and I prepare for the longest hike yet. Same place as Sunday afternoon, but all the way to the top this time.

The sun's in the clouds and we're the only ones climbing:







and the only ones on the top (I'm not surprised, this wind is killing us):



There's an absolutely yummy bowl which I eyed on the way up. Looking down, things aren't so great. Flat light I could deal with, but this is 40 degrees and we've seen quite a few natural slides. On the other side of the bowl, there's already been a slide uncovering blue ice underneath. I spend a couple of minutes on the lip, looking down, until reason prevails (well, reason and Irbis, and a random teledude who showed up in the meantime) and we decide to ski back down on the ridge. Good thing we didn't ski in the bowl. Tried entering it more than halfway down and triggered a small slide, fortunately it didn't have enough incline and momentum to go any further than three-four yards.

Here's a bit of flat-light photo-slutting from the two of us (Irbis closer up):





This is me in the backseat, but the photo is included to show hemas that I've put the sticker he gave me to good use.



The snow is superb for the first two thirds of the descent, then it turns mushy and grabby, but we still get fresh tracks.

When we get down, we have another look back up. Did anyone say unstable snowpack?



(we didn't ski that aspect, it was too steep for the conditions – we came down on something milder).

Before we go back home, we disobey a key TGR commandment and we...

FEED THE TROLL!





(unfortunately, we lacked the raw materials to break the other cardinal rule, 'first post, then smoke crack'. Maybe on an Amsterdam TR).

After a near-400 mile ride during which Irbis and I manage to chat almost incessantly (we're Latins, remember), we end up at a hotel looking like a hangar, enjoying a well deserved reward.

We love Rioja:



THE END

(some more photos by hemas, here:
http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86720 )

[hemas]

We love Rioja:



THE END

(some more photos by hemas, here:
http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86720 )

Damn, where did ya find that Campo Viejo??? I freakin' love that wine, but have had often poor results in finding it here.

Oh, well... they opened up the road on the 2nd of June, just a week later than planned...

I also see that you learned the hard way... always bring yer booze and food to Norwedgia.

[irbis]

we did bring booze, but no food. next time we'll know.

next time we will stay @ folven, it's much more fun.

[hemas]

we did bring booze, but no food. next time we'll know.

next time we will stay @ folven, it's much more fun.

I'd suggest the Nygård-Camping (ie. where I stayed), close to Folven and all the action yet still quiet enough if you actually wanna sleep.

[Hayduke]

Um, yes Cedric, nice write up but too many pics of the two homos in red jackets and not enough pics of the Norwegian chicks you refer to. What the fuck mate?

gold star for effort.

[irbis]

sorry hayduke, here you go

[horizon]

always bring yer booze and food to Norwedgia.

It's Norwedge. I thought everyone knew that.

not enough pics of the Norwegian chicks you refer to

They were too fast for us. We were tongue-tied and camera-tardy.

[Hayduke]

sorry hayduke, here you go

Hubba Hubba!.......jong.

[ulty_guy]

sweet! you should've reminded me that you were going, i've got a pair of exploders with freerides that you can borrow whenever you need to.

[irbis]

Hayduke: what exactly were YOU doing that weekend

this JONG was skiing

[Hayduke]

I was in a darkened room whacking off to internet porn. It was brilliant.

[Teletori]

Nice TR!

Cool to meet you guys, but sadly we did not manage to ski together!

Look out when Tri U is back with the pictures from the sunday....

[irbis]

I was in a darkened room whacking off to internet porn. It was brilliant.

I like you

[hemas]

I like you

I don't.. that guy was filthy when I met him in Cham.

[Mrs Roo]

Great write up, Cedric. Very jealous that I had to stay and study, but I've got my eye on next year.


We need another London maggot gathering with a bravery award for the first person to shake Haydukes hand.

[Tri-Ungulate]

Thanks for bumping the thread Mrs Roo, as I must've missed it when horizon originally posted it. horizon/irbis: good you see you guys got a few more turns in, bring the skins next time, eh

Thanks for the wine, it was handy, and saved us a few $10 beers.

Before we go back home, we disobey a key TGR commandment and we...

FEED THE TROLL!

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS

[verbier61]

so nice, thanks!!

[Shorey]

Nice TR Cedric - big marks for effort.