Timbers @ Mt. Rose = prime cougar hunting.

[GapersGoHome]

Yes, gentlemen, it's open season for cougars at Mt. Rose.

Seems there's a new one at the bar every day, and as their tahoe husbands increasingly bore them, the thirst for fresh meat overcomes their fiscal 'responsibilities'. There she rests, perched on a dingy green bar stool, silently stalking her prey - a 4-carat diamond dangling from her finger, absent-mindedly tapping the formica; it somehow looks even more expensive, like a ferrari idly purring next to a rusted-out, hoarse f-series at a red light. She is casually sipping some sort of martini or whatever shitty red wine they have open that day... absent-mindedly staring at whatever game is on the tv, all the while staking out her prey in her periphery. Luring her victim in with the appeal of booze, money, and a very fake (but very expensive, and therefore very perfect) chest, she is in the driver's seat.

The prime time to stalk a catch like this is 3:30, the magic hour when families leave, foreigners stumble off to their chalets, and the drunks begin to distinguish themselves. As you mustn't spook your prey, survey the scene at a distance. The approach is critical - you must silently dodge cocktail servers, chairs, and small children - be light and nimble on your feet. She'll appreciate this as a higher form of dance, and instantly recongnize you as a suitable canvas for her claws. Slide up to the bar a few seats away from her, next to the brash drunk guy who is trying (unsuccessfully) to steal your kill away. You will appear more refined, possibly more rugged and handsome, and certainly more fuckable. Smile. Wink. Order a guinness.

Begin to sip as you bullshit with the bartender about the weather, make some small talk with a few other patrons, and generally cement yourself in place as the young, attractive, and debonair mountain man. Now is the time to shoot. Adjusting for distance and windage, bring your rifle up slowly, silently... Catch her eye, ask what she's drinking, and buy her one. Offer her the empty seat you've conveniently secured with your helmet, jacket, etc. Smile. Wink. Order another guinness.

By this time, she knows you're 20-something, free-willed, and possibly still in college. This is her fantasy; you're the guy she thinks about while she's reading her romance novels in her bed, by herself, on her side of the house... She begins to remember why she hates that sonofabitch she married, and as the alcohol steels her resolve, her mind is made up. The cougar is wounded, her fourth martini in hand, the blood trail easy to spot in the waning light. A diamond-crusted hand on your thigh, expensive purfume in your nose, and perfectly styled hair in your eyes, you hear the words whispered into your ear, the death rattle: 'let's go.'...

The kill is over. Taken down by Grey Goose Citron, you smile. A successful hunt. The elusive cougar is in your truck, bagged, tagged, and ripe for the... mounting. On your wall, that is...



Happy hunting, gentlemen.

[gamma]

FKNA thats some good shit scotty! any pics?

[MadMatt]

Is this why my wife always quits early to head to the bar?

[LT]

Comedy, nice one Scott. Timbers is a great scene, always a sad day when the bar closes for the summer.

[Hutch]

great write-up! I can picture the scene...

[GapersGoHome]

It IS a sad day when the bar closes...

Oh, by the way, speaking of comedy, thanks to you and laidman for the writing on my window the other day, and the wiper blades... I got a pretty big laugh out of it.

[gamma]

Comedy, nice one Scott. Timbers is a great scene, always a sad day when the bar closes for the summer.

dude, is that a bear cub you are holding? are u insane?

[GapersGoHome]

dude, is that a bear cub you are holding? are u insane?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This, my friends, is a great story.

Have at it, chase.

[tarkman1]

this thread is useless without pictures.

[LT]

Laidman must take credit for any writing, I own up to the wipers!

[LT]

That is a bear cub, it was darted by the fish and wildlife dept. outside my office. I just happened to show up to work at the right time to see the whole thing go down, Mom and cub darted. I was then invited to help out if interested in tagging, tattooing, weighing, measuring, etc.

Here are some pics:



Sorry for the hijack!

[tradygirl]

Hmmmm....no more cougar hunting for LT after marrying that crazy girl of his this summer.

Stick to the bears.

[MarsB]

........

this thread is useless without pictures.

[skimoore]

Paging Kush.....



This thread should be made into a National Geographic style video....

[LT]

Trady...You know Tara keeps a close eye on me when at Timbers, Cougars can't be trusted!! We need to get you and JoshP out here for some Tahoe turns this winter..no excuses!! Well, we'll let ya's off the hook if the conditions don't improve.

[freshies]

classic...except I have seen this play out @ Plump Jack @ Squaw...the prime cougar hunting ground here on the north shore....too funny.

[irul&ublo]

classic...except I have seen this play out @ Plump Jack @ Squaw...the prime cougar hunting ground here on the north shore....too funny.

"seen"?????

[freshies]

"seen"?????

as my attorney, wouldn't you advise I plead the fifth?

[whatcomridaz]

Nailing someone else's wife= the new black

........

If this is representative of the talent you're pulling, its no wonder her husband don't hit it no more...

GROSS

[GapersGoHome]

lol... no, much better than that, my friend.

not my pic. I don't think I could post a pic on here... you see, she may or may not be in the industry.

[huck4bucks]

Nice one, GGH. No wonder you pulled the chute early on Sunday to head to the bar.

[shirk]

ahhh cougar hunting...

[IrieRon]

I can't wait til the early 2010's, because then tons of cougars will be aging snowboard chicks. Kind of like baby boomers, but ones that snowboard and fuck.

[OtisTheDog]

I can't wait til the early 2010's, because then tons of cougars will be aging snowboard chicks. Kind of like baby boomers, but ones that snowboard and fuck.

I like the way you think, but that's like 25-30 years from now to me.

[irul&ublo]

as my attorney, wouldn't you advise I plead the fifth?

As your attorney I advise you to drink a fifth.