A first timer’s guide to going big in AK, Clench, Grip, Repeat

[Crinkle]

Take all the pictures you can, roll video for your entire trip, use all of this and talk till you are blue in the face to help someone understand what heli-skiing in Alaska might be like. I realized a few weeks before leaving that I would not be able to wrap my head around this Alaska trip. So I just plain gave up. I emptied my brain of all expectations, I didn’t try to imagine what it was going to be like, because every time I did I was jumping out of my skin, unable to accomplish anything.

Not only was I going to Alaska to go heli-skiing, I was going for free and I got to bring someone with me. Teton Gravity Research blessed me with the trip of a lifetime, a chance to literally make my dreams come true, and a glimpse into the life of rock stars. A weeks worth of heli-skiing with Rendezvous Heli-guides in Valdez, Alaska. After becoming informed of my windfall, there was no debate in my head of who to pick to take with me on the journey of a lifetime. This person had to be; a skier, someone with the skills, someone who I can tolerate and better yet can tolerate me for a week, had to be Meatdrink9. He believed it about as much as I did when I was first told. A week later with some confirmation emails, it finally started to sink in. Late in April we will be standing on top of 3000 ft of vertical at sustained pitch greater than 45 degrees, filled with sweet pow.

There was a lot of preparation for Alaska, gym time, and travel arrangements, boring stuff that no one wants to really read about. Fast forward to April 22nd, when we departed for Anchorage. Somehow I forced myself to sleep the whole way. We get off the plane in Alaska at midnight, 10 minutes later we are bumping into Maggots. Not only were we going heli-skiing, we were fortunate enough to go during “all-star maggot week”. Shortly after my announcement of our trip, I was contacted by Karl Stall and informed that he had a large group, mainly made up of Maggots going to the same operation in late April. Thereafter, I was contacted by Theo Miner owner/operator/guide/purveyor of stoke and told that it would work out great if MD and I would join them for the same week at Rendezvous. Karl Stall, Natty Dread, Meatdrink, Karl’s brother-in-law “Red Dog” and myself stood around gathering gear as it rolled off the baggage claim.

Jump in the rentals and the caravan plows through the night heading towards Valdez at a high rate of speed. Even through the dark of night we could see the peaks thrust up out of the earth reaching towards the stars……snow covered. Around 5:30am we come to a screeching halt on mile marker 45.5 in the parking lot of Rendezvous operation. Right away Karl is bending our ears with tales of Billy Mitchell and Happiness, which we can see in the early morning light. We are so stoked that we pull all of our gear out, throw our skis in a pile and get dressed. By 6:30 we are dressed and ready to ride, it’s a shame that the chopper won’t be fired up till at least 9. A few more maggots wander down from the Hotel, an 8-bedroom facility recently constructed on site. Stratlab (soon to be Tom E. Hawk), skideeppow, phatstix, and new maggot YB make their introductions.

Everyone is giddy and for good reason, only one run has been made in past few days due to the dumpage and this day was going to be solid blue. Too many cups of coffee result in too many trips to the bathroom partly due to caffeine, partly due to pre-game jitters. We go through the weigh in process, in which you put on everything you are going to fly with: boots, skis, pack, poles and jump on the scale. Then a becon search to show you know what you are doing with your beeper. Additional to our regular gear we had been equip with a climbing harness, which we had to adjust to. A quick lesson on chopper boarding and unloading etiquette, resulting in us signing our lives away one more time. Finally questions start being answered. Kind of like a magic 8-ball “Are we going to fly today?” “Definitely”

[Game show voice] “Now come and meet your guide Craig, he is a house painter in the off season, a ski patroller at Jackson early season and is now living the high life as a guide for 2 months in Alaska.” [Applause break] Due to odd numbers, we wound up being a group of 3 plus guide for 3 days, while all the others were groups of 4. Tom E. Hawk, Meatdrink and myself made up the “Virgin” chopper. Not one of us had ever been to Alaska, been in a heli, let along gone skiing out of one. It was torture, sitting on the box outside of the landing area, waiting, watching all the groups head out before us. Meanwhile, Craig kept us at ease with tales of how it was going to be sooooo good. Since we were a group that weighed less than others, we were picked up last with more fuel. If the group weighs less, they can carry out more fuel and stay out and take us to more runs, so after this was explained to us, we were able to wait it out.

We boarded the heli while it was refueling and not running and witness the whole process from start up to take off. The three of us sitting in the back seat, elbowing each other in the ribs, giggling, this is most certainly too good to be true. Shamus, our pilot was an older gray fellow with a big moustache and a serious smile. He is referred to by the guides as Shameless, due to his ability to get the girls from camp into his make shift hot tub.


Someone quoted the number of hours that Shamus had on the stick of a heli, somewhere around 6000 in a Huey from his Vietnam and military days and a few more thousand on the current heli we were flying in. Buttons were pushed and the turbine began to whine, then the blades begin to spin. A minute later the blades are going full speed, a twist on the stick and a new and incredible sensation occurs as the helicopter takes off.



If you peered into the back seat all you would have seen was teeth, as we all looked at each with the biggest of smiles. Shaking our fists and twitching we elevated up to the LZ. Shamus put us down on that ridge like a feather. Craig jumps out, shuts the door and unloads all the gear from the basket, reopens the door, we file out one at a time and hop on top of the gear, to keep it from blowing away in the rotor wash as the helicopter takes off. Keep in mind we are only 1-2 feet away from the skids as it took off and landed to pick us up each time. As soon as it was quiet on the LZ the three of us simultaneously jumped up and cheered, high fives and laughing. Our guide found this hilarious, since we hadn’t even skied yet.

Our first run Northeast facing, the snow was perfect. As in almost all of our runs, the guide skied first. Once Craig reappeared WAY down below, he called up for the first skier. Eric and Jared passed on the chance and allowed me to do the honors. For some strange reason, I was not gripped, spooked or scared. I didn’t hesitate for second to point the spats into the run and start laying big fat turns on some sweet fluffy snow. I stayed in the gut of the run for the first third then moved over to the ridge and worked the ridge further down and hauled ass to the bottom. I was hooting the whole way down. They heard me from below and above. I will never forget it.
Eric went second working some real nice turns down the same ridge, until he cut a turn too hard and took to his patent pending starfish resulting in him coming to rest 3.5 rotations down slope. Unfortunately, his one pole was stuck about 40 yards upslope. So a radio call was put in to Jared that went like this:
Craig: “Jared, right after that second rollover Eric lost his pole pretty far upslope, do you think you could stop and bring it down to him”
Jared: “I would rather not”
There was something lost in the translation to Jared I think he was just to damn excited to ski this pristine face. Once the situation was re-explained to him, he agreed quickly to help Eric out.

Md throwing some spray, making Craig use the good lord’s name in vain.


Jared drops out of site from the peak onto the first face, when he comes back into view he is really moving, he slices a huge left hand turn on the face of the ridge, just killing it. Craig lets out a “Jesus Christ”, half in awe, half spooked by Jared throwing down on the first run. I reassure him that this terrain is well with Jared’s abilities. The pole was retrieved and a long out run down the mellower portion of the slope resulted in very different snow conditions than the top. Death crust got the best of me twice, once resulting in a single rotation tomahawk (from which I still owe royalties on).

[Crinkle]

After the cluster of our first run, we headed up to the Cauliflowers for our first run with consequences. The Cauliflowers is a series of rock lined chutes, very evenly spaced on an Eastern aspect, that all dumps out on to a glacial run. We were in direct sun and it was starting to get warm fast. Craig took the lead, exploring all portions and aspects of the slope so he could radio up to us where the best and most stable snow was. It took a few hairy minutes of waiting for Craig to radio up. Finally he appeared as a mere dot, thousands of feet below out on the glacier. He was huffing and puffing, but his first words that came across were “its good, really good”.

Jared was now first in the rotation. I was feeling a bit more sketched out on this run, with our first experience of a blind rollover of this proportion. We cranked the radios up and listed and Craig guided Jared to the best line “left, left, left, that’s it fall line……. nice”. As second up, Craig let me through to his tracks, which left plenty of room for me to throw a few freshies between. It was tough to look anywhere but right where you were going, but in the few instances that I looked further downhill, I was amazed at the sheer size of it all.

Crunk-show photo diary:


Last up Eric got to take a line that we didn’t realize even existed when we were skiing down. He took the bigger roll over to a super steep face with no tracks on it and showed it whose boss. There was a slight transition and then another pitch. As Eric got into his 4th turn, he tore loose a hard slab about the size of a football field. This was the same exact line that Jared had skied. It appears that the crown formed right where his and Jared’s turns crossed, but broke loose when he was about 20 feet down slope. Survival instinct kicked in and as soon as the slab started to move, he pointed it skier’s left and slightly downhill towards the edge of the slide and safety. When he reached the side of the slab and went from moving on the slab to stable snow, his ski caught and he fell, but away from the slide, just as the slab was starting to break up. Radio calls were made as the slide happened by our guide. Not even 10 seconds later, “put both your hands up if you are ok” went out over our channel. Eric put both hands up and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Reference this shot with the one above for before and after pics


Unfortunately Eric still had to climb back up to get his ski. He moved quickly and efficiently, retrieved his ski and got down safely. While he was moving upslope, everything started to give way. A guide’s ski cut triggered a whole aspect to rip out below him. Another maggot got caught in a very tight chute and rode over 1200 vertical in a slide that resulted in him getting buried up to his shoulders. I am not exaggerating when I say this all occurred within 10 minutes. Once Eric was down we filled him in on the other activity. He seemed pretty well composed for riding out the biggest slide I had ever seen, just watching made me play connect the dots in my underpants.

Once everyone was safe, Theo rounded the troops, calmed us all down and explained what was going on with the snow pack and the rapid change in temperature. People were laughing and trying to shed the fears of what we had just been witness to. Theo later recalled the incident as “taking the beach under fire”, which is precisely what it felt like. A lunch break started as we waited for the temperature to stabilize.

We took a hop out to a different aspect. Craig always knew where he wanted to take us next. No need for us to dream up lines, he always had a hit list set up for us. Blue Corn was called for and approved by Theo. We proceeded to make the hairiest landing of the week, which was the equivalent of landing a helicopter on a picnic table. When he set down, Craig had to ask Shamus to actually back it up, because the first step was going to be a big one, say about 1000 ft. We hopped out and huddled up. Standing on top of an 800 ft pitch of 45 degrees of what looked like and what we hoped was blower. Craig got us set up in a safe zone and preceded to take the first ski cut. He wasn’t that far away from us, so as we saw him sink up to mid-thigh in soft goodness, we were cheering. He turned around and told us how it was, “Its so good, this is going to be like love.” When you hear that, expect the deepest, best turns of the day. That’s about as much justice as I can give it.

Tom E. Hawk getting some love


It was the only run we wanted to hit again, but got picked off by another group. Now back to absolutely loving life again, after our earlier spooking we headed off for a final run on Bitchin Billy to wrap up the day.

[Crinkle]

Your guide is your best friend. He will ski cut and zig zag the slope testing its stability, also stopping and digging mini pits with his hands or shovel as he sees fit on the side of the slope. Say whatever you will about guides and them getting first tracks, but I didn’t complain once, in fact many times we would actually comment that we were glad we didn’t have to go first. Craig was our guide for 3 days, every one of those days without fail, he took us to the goods. He would ski it, not necessarily how we would want to ski it, then radio back up, telling us where we should go for the best snow. “Stay right, the left is crusty”, “stay away from the roll over on the left side of that wall” A guide instills confidence in you and your ability to ski certain areas, makes you aware of dangers, and is there at the bottom to give you a high five or a pole slap in celebration of a job well done. We were well aware of any dangers before we had to descend, which made it that much easier and more predictable, as if 50 degree faces are ever predictable. Partly I believe it to be the specific operation we went to, but the guides hung out for beers almost every night, were very open about giving advice on how to better ski these incredible lines we are being exposed to. Most of all it was very obvious that our guides just loved skiing as much as we did.

The accommodations were pimp for as remote as we were. Your choices are to rent an RV and park it in the lot or to hole up in one of the rooms they have for rent. The rooms were just built this off-season by guides. Each room had 2 queen beds, 2 sinks, private bath and shower. Basic amenities for any normal town, but these rooms do not exist at any other operation except those that work out of the town of Valdez. The lodge was fully equip with TV’s, pool table, kitchen staff that kicked out 3 solid meals a day. Fully stocked cooler of Kokanee and other beers. When we were not skiing, we spent most of our time hanging in and around the lodge.

The vibe was outstanding. We ate meals and drank beers with our guides and fellow skiers throughout the week. Camera’s were constantly being past around to share the most recent video footage or stills collection. Since we were such a large group, we were constantly putting down different lines within proximity of each other. So we would all tell our stories of how our group killed it on a certain run that others didn’t get to or listen to the same type of story from another group. Everyone who attended the week was a solid skier, meaning you would never hesitate to ski with, or might hesitate cause they were so fricking gnar.

There are stories and antidotes you hear about some heli-operations. Many of the clients and maggots that were present for our week of skiing, mentioned how many times they got skunked, didn’t fly, or how other operations that they have been to, would not take them to the aspects and peaks they wanted to ski, keeping them on low angle runs. Even worse, stories of places that highly recommend that you “farm” your turns and ski the same radius turns as your guide. This was most certainly not our experience at Rendezvous, in fact we were encouraged to ski how we liked. Sometimes we asked if we could ski a different line, sometimes we were shut down, sometimes were given the ok to go ahead “with caution”. Our experience was enhanced by the fact that a portion of our group was repeat customers, with a pre-existing relationship with Rendezvous. They were familiar with the level of skiing that they enjoyed and did their best to satiate us. I would say they did a job well done.

There were many more days of runs that were had. Highlights:

Clueland. The rumors were true. We were heading to clueland. A deeper flight than the day before. We put in a “warm up” run nearby, which was a mixed bag. Fear that the conditions might be toast from the temperature spike the day before, we worried for our second run.

Up and over a peak in the heli revealed an absolute monster, the face of “Get a clue”. At least 2000 vertical feet on the first pitch of sustained 45-50 degrees. There were already 2 groups on location when we landed. I believe it was the guide Sam who took the incredible balls to go out on the face and dig a pit. He was way out there, if it went with him on it, he was going for a long ride. Thankfully, the pit revealed a nice stable snow pack, otherwise I don’t know where the hell we were going to ski.

Sam letting it all hang out:


The face of our run was big enough that even being the 10th skier down, I was still getting fresh turns of sweetness. Down to the bottom everyone smiling ear-to-ear, turning to watch the next skier get some. Meatdrink even through down to small hucks in the middle using the rock band as his launch pad.

On our way back up for seconds, some one getting a clue:


This run was so good it was worthy of a repeat. Back to the top, long traverse out to far looker’s right. Meatdrink radioed down for permission to huck. Permission was granted and he threw down the biggest air of the trip, a nice 20+ footer onto the face from the top rock band. KS’s group was on deck behind us, I heard the ooh’s and ahh’s. Since Tom E. I took the last run looker’s right, the left side was tracked but the right side was left wide open for me. I even worked the rocklike towards the bottom, trying to spray sluff off the other side.

The day proceeded with a few more stellar runs, but none that matched the intensity of Clueland. We told Craig we were ready to pull the plug on the day and save it up for later. This guy knows the system and how it works. He made 2 calls in to go to Happiness, both resulted in a “no”. We went on a holding pattern while other groups took runs and some even bumped back to base. It was sunny and warm and we had no issue hanging out on the glacier. Eventually, Craig told us that we were heading for home, but if we landed somewhere on the way, it was going to be good. (We didn’t know where we were going at the time but MD filmed a huge segment, probably too big to host anywhere, but it was from heli pick up to heli landing on top of Happiness) Even though we were the first to Happiness, another group got to take first shot at it. The genius of Craig was to wait and let those guys all ski the same line and when it was our turn, Craig opened up the whole left side for us. The first 2/3rds was awesome, sweet steep pow with rolling features throughout. The last third was very difficult as the snow conditions changed from sun exposure and I was worked from the super long run. Sloppily I made it to the bottom to join the others in celebration of the best run of the trip.

Happiness from binoculars at the lodge:

[Crinkle]

The next day was a half day as the conditions were rapidly changing over from pow to corn. We took only a few runs and called it a day. The drinking from the bonfire the night before had taken its toll on some of us.

The 26th was my birthday and instead of flying we decided to take a day of rest. Usually, most people don’t have these options since flying days are limited by weather, but a monster high pressure was sitting in AK and wasn’t going anywhere. Natty Dread, MD and myself grabbed a few PBR’s and took off for a day in Valdez. Pretty uneventful, just sightseeing stuff. The ride home is when it got interesting.

On our way back we stopped at Valdez Heli to have a drink at their bar. We sat at the bar, had one drink each and hoped back in the car, not even 20 minutes had passed. On our way down towards Rendezvous, a truck flashed us down to let us know a large avalanche had just blocked the road. We sped on down the road to check it out. They weren’t kidding, it was at least 20 feet high and had spread 200+ ft down the road. So with 200ft of avalanche debris blocking the road we headed back to the bar, figuring we would be stuck for a while. A quick attempt to get a shuttle to pick us upon the other side of the avy path was shut down by D.O.T. Drinks all around, after all it is my birthday and we are in AK, what the hell right?

Not exactly sure how long we were at the bar for (2 hours) maybe more, those long AK days mess with your head, so did the alcohol. We got comped a meal of prime-rib by a cool guy named Rob. Just as we were finishing up our meal I caught a glimpse of a red headed kid with Oakley gear. I could have sworn it was Shaun White. I mention quickly to MD and he confirmed, while I was wrist deep in mash potatoes. Wonder how long we are going to be here for?

All set for a long drunken night, a guide comes in and asks us if we are part of the Rendezvous group. I was not sure where this was heading, since we had just eaten their food, I thought we were busted. “Sure,” I replied, I got a couple drinks in me, what do I care? “Shamus is coming to get you guys right now, get out there.” Wait, what, oh yeah!!!! Shamus and Theo bring the heli in for the rescue, land it in enemy territory and pull us home. Best designated drive home EVER!! We landed back at Rendezvous to the cheers of the crew. Had cocktails with thousands of year old glacier ice in it. Got the chocolate banana cake with birthday song and the works. Theo pulled me aside, gave me an ARG hat and a hug. A birthday I will never forget. Midnight approached, we all switched to water, since we had more flying to do.

View of slide from the road, the next day:


The wrath of AK was felt. Tom E. Hawk suffered a fractured C7 from his fall on Happiness. Somehow he ponied up and skied another day on it before he had to pull the plug. I busted my digital camera, which is good, cause I want a better one. Other than that considering what was skied and falls that were taken, we all survived.

I could spend a few more pages writing about the goods we went to, gripping LZ’s, mind melting descents and so on. What it comes down to is plain and simple……beg, borrow and steal to get there. Do it before you pass your prime, do it before you die, don’t ask questions or try to justify it, just fucking do it. Put yourself in debt for a year, max out your cards, find a crew and get there. Do it once, it’s the pinnacle of our sport, and it doesn’t get any bigger and most certainly doesn’t get any better than this.

There will be more to post, there are many stories that have yet to be told. First hand accounts that will vary. I didn’t even include our ski mountaineering run on North Diamond face, the shots of the monster slide from the heli and many others. . To the guys that were there, please feel free to edit, add, or correct my recollections. It was a pleasure to meet you all, you made the best of company during my time there.

Last of all, I want to thank our sponsor TGR. Thanks for picking my entry and paying our way. We loved every second of it, it was everything we could have dreamed of and more. I will be back.

cheers

[AfroMullet]

So stoked for you! Excellent write-up.

[ak_powder_monkey]

glad you like my backyard. I think though you should post something that makes me want to go heliskiing though. Isn't going up half the fun?

[Art Vandelay]

wow.

[Crinkle]

You guys are post hoppers, there is no way you read it that fast.

[Yossarian]

I read it that fast.
Awesome.

[natty dread]

So did I, nice work B.

[AfroMullet]

You guys are post hoppers, there is no way you read it that fast.

I read the first one then posted, but the rest are ok too.

[BradyCU]

I don't know how to read but the pics look sick!!

Glad you had a good time!

[phUnk]

That rules. Thanks for the writeup, Crinkle. I second that

[powderwhore]

I hate you guys!


How much would it cost to get up there next year? Just need to figure how much overtime I need to work till then.

[meatdrink9]

Nice write-up crunk. And thanks for dragging me along. I've got my day one ready to go and will post it shortly (we have a fair amount of overlap).

Total dick move on my part about the pole. I just wanted to suggest that if it were near Tom E. Hawk he grab it as I might be moving fast (partly due to fear of sluff). Once I heard it was some distance away and on a ridge I was glad to help.

[Steezus Christ]

I can't imagine how fun that would be. One question though- So you are not allowed to huck any cliffs even if they have zero exposure below them?

[natty dread]

I paid about $4200 for 4 solid days of skiing at ARL (actually 5, but I chose to do 2 short days--this includes one 10 run/37,000' day!), including tips for the guides and the staff, lodging, drinking, and eating whatever I wanted for breakfast and dinner from their first class menu (think crab or reindeer sausage omelets, ny strips, local halibut, the goods). If I lived a bit less large, it would have been significantly cheaper, but I said what the hell, I'm in AK! The cool thing about ARL, is that you only pay for the runs you ski, unlike some other operations. If you choose to take a short day or if weather shuts you down, you don't pay. Yet another reason to choose ARL.

[frozenwater]

now THAT'S what I call a trip report. Thanks crinkle, I just finished the whole thing and I still want more.

Glad you were able to go on the trip - Next time my place of employment hands you a ak heli trip - maybe think a bit harder about what maggot you should drag along, mkay?

[natty dread]

I can't imagine how fun that would be. One question though- So you are not allowed to huck any cliffs even if they have zero exposure below them?

You're allowed to huck cliffs, especially with no exposure. Avy conditions were considerable to extreme during our time there however, so we had to be extraordinarily gentle on steep slopes. Hucking was often ill advised.

[Tom E. Hawk]

B... well said. Definitely an amazing and memorable trip.

Thanks to Theo, Bruce, Craig and Rendezvous for being so hospitable and putting us on the goods.

[meatdrink9]

I hate you guys!


How much would it cost to get up there next year? Just need to figure how much overtime I need to work till then.

I'd say budget for $1,000 per day of skiing. That might be on the high side, but you'll be prepared. I'm thinking 3 or 4 hard days of flying next year earlier in the season (more chance of a storm day or two to sit out, but cooler temps).

[lph]

Sweet write up crinkle. You really captured the essence of AK. Glad you guys had such a great time.

[Steezus Christ]

You're allowed to huck cliffs, especially with no exposure. Avy conditions were considerable to extreme during our time there however, so we had to be extraordinarily gentle on steep slopes. Hucking was often ill advised.

That is very understandable! God I need to do this sometime!

[BigJay]

Siiiick....

[Blurred]

Space reserved for when I read this the third or fourth time, and finally decide to reserve my spot with them next year. Awesome TR Crink, unreal.