Fridays Padded Room special collection of junk that more than likely will be NSFW

[f2f]

[FrankZappa]

Ever feel like you need to slap the shit out of somebody?

[FrankZappa]

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Megan, age 4

First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F


Kyle, age 8

You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F


Lisa, age 6

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F


Cameron, age 4

Terrible. F


Bryce, age 10

This one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F


Jon, age 8

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F


Rachel, age 7

That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F


Jason, age 6

This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F


Seth, age 4

Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! Grade: F


Kelly, age 9

This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F

[MashedPotatoes]

...so I booked into a hotel and said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."

[Poop~Ghost]

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV
program about psychology when he turned to his wife
and said,'Honey, I bet you can't tell me something
that will make me happy and sad at the same time.'



She said,

'You have the biggest dick of all your friends.'

[MakersTeleMark]

It's not just for summer pow:

NSFW:
http://www.argen-teens.com/

[wicked]

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Megan, age 4

First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F


Kyle, age 8

You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F


Lisa, age 6

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F


Cameron, age 4

Terrible. F


Bryce, age 10

This one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F


Jon, age 8

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F


Rachel, age 7

That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F


Jason, age 6

This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F


Seth, age 4

Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! Grade: F


Kelly, age 9

This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F

www.maddox.xmission.com

What a great site, I have his book, The alphabet of Manliness, the best thing to read whilst taking a dump.

[splat]

f2f posted this in another thread, but it needs to be memorialized here.

http://www.m2film.dk/fleggaard/index.php?film=2

[wicked_sick]

This looks like fun (ad it's entertaining to watch)

[basinbeater]

Who was the biggest whore of the 20th century?



Ms. Pac Man, that bitch ate balls 'til she died!

[splat]

http://vili.us/hypno.html

[Tippster]

"I Jizzed in My Pants"

[Jim S]

/\/\//\/\/\

LOL. Made my day.

[wi3dzmin]

Ground control to major Tom.

http://trml.ytmnd.com/

[Tippster]

Ground control to major Tom.

http://trml.ytmnd.com/

Jesus Christ that's fucking funny as fuck.

[FrankZappa]

Some power tools for christmas

Power drill with power to spare


Leaf blower


Nail gun


And while you're at the hardware store, don't forget to pick up the Boob-O-Meter TM. It's a hit at all christmas parties.


----------

Bulls

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.

We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week!

........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, "That's once a day

....You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

Honestly--------My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

[splat]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

nice, zappa, nice.

[f2f]

in case you need it:

[ill-advised strategy]

[Jim S]

Everybody here has thought and experienced this: school boredom

[Rubicon]

Everybody iwho has ever been in school as thought this and experienced it:

"Ahh, have you seen that window?"

[Jim S]

In the Dog House

Im In The Doghouse ! Help ! flv (flv video)
or
http://fliiby.com/file/127098/ynwehrl3m5.html
.
.

[awf170]

Bwah!!! That slays me.

[warthog]

[MultiVerse]

Sugar Bowl Today: Go UTES!! Change the Tide!!