Maggot Parents - Advice?

[Flexon Phil]

I agree with the "no" comments. Kids are guests in your home, do not forget your relationship with your spouse. The kids are there for 18 years, your spouse for the rest of your life.

[adipose]

That's right; no means no.

Let them live with some shitty decisions, if they want to wear shorts and no coat today when the weather forecast calls for a storm this afternoon go right ahead. They will learn that you're not just an asshole trying to ruin their lives but actually care about them.

The best part; following your 13yo down tower 3 or alta chute in a foot of fresh for the first time.

[The Dad]

Let them live with some shitty decisions, if they want to wear shorts and no coat today when the weather forecast calls for a storm this afternoon go right ahead.

So I see you've met BurgerBoy?

The best part; following your 13yo down tower 3 or alta chute in a foot of fresh for the first time.

Or, after one of your five year olds freaks out just looking at Sympathy Face on the first chair of the first day of the season, and refuses to ski anywhere for the rest of the day, following him down it on the last day of the season.

Or following your six-year-olds over High Traverse for the first time.

Or when your kids tell their friends that they're psyched it's raining, because that means it's snowing in Tahoe.

Or when after you take them skiing July 4 at Mammoth, when it gets to be late July, and they ask when we can go skiing again, and you tell them not until around Thanksgiving, they exclaim "That's too long!!!!!!"

Or when they're in a Spanish immersion school, and they've learned that seasons are reversed below the Equator, and they start to push for a summer trip to South America.

Or.... well, you get the point. My kids' love for skiing got me back into it. It's a wonderful thing we share.

[KGTrips]

Or.... well, you get the point. My kids' love for skiing got me back into it. It's a wonderful thing we share.

I'm in the same boat. 9 yr old and 12 yr old. Last year family trip to Tremblant. It took my 9 year old 40 minutes to get down the long green ( they started late 5 and 7). This year went to Big White in BC and my 9 year old had better lower body strength and nerve and we were actually skiing. The ability to get out with the family has meant more ski days this year and my intense love of skiing has been rekindled. Next year the kids are demanding we go out west again , BC, Utah, Wyoming , "somewhere good".
Might have to cave in to their demands this time around.

[Tippster]

My main advice: Let them get dirty once in a while. You aren't doing them any favors keeping them in an anticeptic environment all the time - some studies seem to show the rise in childhood asthma and allergies is due to our overprotectiveness from "germs." Purell sucks - it inhibits the development of their immune system.

Second bit of advice: Let them play alone, I'd say at least 1/3 of the time. If you're constantly entertaining your children they have no need to develop an imagination. Just as bad as TV in my opinion. yes they're fun, yes I want to hang with them constantly, but they need to learn to think for themselves.

[AsheanMT]

Get one of those baby Bjorns and take em out for a ski tour and some hiking as early as possible. The fresh air does wonders for them and they sleep well with the motion. I just say another 6 week baby that has only been inside since birth and she looked friggen anemic compared to Liam.

Here's Liam at 5 weeks

[boarddad]

^ Once they outgrow the Bjorn, get a good backpack. I picked one up on a whim that was listed on SAC and my daughter (almost 2) LOVES it! She tries to climb in every time she sees it and will ride in it all day long if I let her. Emphasis on "good". You get what you pay for.

Edit to add to what Tippster said;
Get your kids comfortable around dogs @ an early age. There are big advantages in regards to allergies if you do that, plus kids need to learn how to act around animals. Both of my kids have pushed the limits with my lab and have been barked at because of it. Now they both are really gentile around all animals; dogs, cats, horses...you name it. It drives me crazy to see kids either too scared to approach an obviously friendly dog or worse, that will chase animals around in a petting zoo.

[strawjack]

make sure that when he/she comes home for the first time you have a pair of skis in their room for him/her. they must always have their skis in their sight before bed and as they awake in the morning. they'll be much happier throughout the day and night...i speak the truth!

[irul&ublo]

Maggot Parents - Advice?

Buy a dog.

[LARRY01]

My advice would be to let as many people as possible hold your your kids when they are babies. There is nothing worse than that kid that will not let anyone but MOmmy hold him or her. Take them out with you and let them be social. It will do wonders for their confidence and social skills. My other peice of advice if you are using formula and you have to get up to do the 3 am feeding run into the wall very loudly so your wife hears you do it (without the baby). You will never have to the the 3 am feeding again. Just my 2 cents.

[AsheanMT]

My advice would be to let as many people as possible hold your your kids when they are babies. There is nothing worse than that kid that will not let anyone but MOmmy hold him or her. Take them out with you and let them be social. It will do wonders for their confidence and social skills. My other peice of advice if you are using formula and you have to get up to do the 3 am feeding run into the wall very loudly so your wife hears you do it (without the baby). You will never have to the the 3 am feeding again. Just my 2 cents.

We've developed a system for feeding. The wife has early am til about 6pm then its my shift. That way everybody gets enough sleep.

[Beaver]

Get rid of your television.

[2stix]

Well I thought I would add a thought since I've been a father for a few years now, (Just taught my 3yr daughter to ski this year.)

1. Love them unconditionally, even when your mad as hell at them for whatever YOUR problem is, remember to love them.

2. Respect them. Talk to them as equals and always explain your reason to them. No means no, but why will show them respect and grow their understanding.

3. Hugs, Physically reassuring contact is the number 1 way to help a person (child) build Self confidence and to grow social skills.

4. Ignore the "bad" things that make YOU upset and reward the things/actions that make YOU happy.

5. Remember that every child has endless happiness in them, and your job is to let it come out and enjoy it, do not teach them how to forget it.

My wife and I live by these guides and our child is very well adjusted, intelligent, but most of all happy. I promise you nothing else matters more then happiness, Nothing!

[LAN]

I'm only 4 weeks into the motherhood gig, so take my advice with a hefty grain of salt:

Yes pregnant women are psycho. I cried after scoober forgot to get rice in my Taco Del Mar burrito. No amount of orange soda could keep me happy, which is slighty ironic, as REM's "Orange Crush" was on the radio in the OR when Noah was born.

Your wife/SO/whatever is going to need a lot of support postpartum. Try to help with diaper changes, feedings, grocery shopping, household chores. Make sure your partner is eating well and drinking plenty of fluids. Try to offer a nap now and again so that you can have father/baby time.

Contrary to what the breastfeeding Nazis say (ie: lactation consultants), breastfeeding is NOT the holy grail. If it works, that's wonderful - but no woman should be made to feel bad, guilty or less of a mother because breastfeeding doesn't work out. It's hard work and can be a struggle. If your partner is going to pump, offer a snack and a drink at every pumping session. Pumping is draining both physically and emotionally.

Get a Kangaroo Korner adjustable pouch! They rock! Screw the Bjorn! www.kangarookorner.com

And most of all, HAVE FUN!

[wandering, not lost]

I'm not a parent yet, but I do spend 7 hours every weekday with twenty 9, 10, and 11 year olds (and whoever from their siblings and cousins shows up in my room after school to hang out). My biggest piece of advice is to never end a sentence with the word "okay"

it's not: "I need you to sit down in that chair, okay"

that single word opens up the door just enough

[woodstocksez]

My main advice: Let them get dirty once in a while. You aren't doing them any favors keeping them in an anticeptic environment all the time - some studies seem to show the rise in childhood asthma and allergies is due to our overprotectiveness from "germs." Purell sucks - it inhibits the development of their immune system.

More generally, I'd say that overprotectiveness with respect to any danger breeds susceptiblity to precisely the danger sought to be avoided.

Second bit of advice: Let them play alone, I'd say at least 1/3 of the time. If you're constantly entertaining your children they have no need to develop an imagination. Just as bad as TV in my opinion. yes they're fun, yes I want to hang with them constantly, but they need to learn to think for themselves.

Did I write this using an alias? Right on. I also like to hang with my kids constantly, but alone time is absolutely necessary. I will add that I think TV is not necessarily the great evil that so many think it is: my son has learned plenty from the shows that he watches. Of course, too much is not a good thing, but, then, that's true for most things.

[woodstocksez]

Contrary to what the breastfeeding Nazis say (ie: lactation consultants), breastfeeding is NOT the holy grail. If it works, that's wonderful - but no woman should be made to feel bad, guilty or less of a mother because breastfeeding doesn't work out. It's hard work and can be a struggle.

Well, being a man, what do I know, but I second this. My wife is a fountain of milk (which turns me on - is that wrong?): she breastfed #1 until 21 months (or thereabouts) and #2 is still going strong at 8 months. But if it was otherwise - and I understand it is for a lot of women - then so be it. My recollection is that at the time I was born (early 60s), and even nine years later when my brother was born, breastfeeding was an unusual thing to do, and it seems not everyone from that time period turned out to be screwed up.

There are plenty of things that are generally good for your child, but failing to do any particular one (or ones) of them ain't gonna doom them.

[72Twenty]

My 8 month old's favorite toy at the moment? An empty 20oz. water bottle.

[The Dad]

My 8 month old's favorite toy at the moment? An empty 20oz. water bottle.

Better than an empty 40....

[Steepdeepnlong]

Discipline the behavior, love the child.

As for team sports, stay away from the highly competitve stuff until they're about 12 and they want to do it. Don't let (or make) them specialize in a sport before high school; 9-year old soccer players who play soccer year round might get a scholarship to play at some div II school, but they will hate the sport and treat it like a job, not a passion.

I also believe that when you sign-on as a parent, you agree to coach at least one team in your kid's lifetime. Do this early, before they know more about the sport than you (e.g., coaching 6-year old soccer is all about running in the right direction and learning how to kick the ball without falling down. Not much strategy or zone defense to worry about!).

You kid will not be the athlete you never were. Let them develop on their own.

[hose-man]

Follow through. If they disobey & there is no consequence they learn it. Understanding that fact, limit the command you give your toddler to what you can follow through with.

If you give them a choice, be prepared to accept either (any) answer. Don't yourself up for a battle by offering an outcome you won't accept.

Love, disciplin, love, love, love.

Check on them every night before you retire to sleep. There is nothing more heart warming or reaffirming to me as a parent as the sight of my sweet childeren, snuggled in bed, fast asleep. Angels! (all 5 of them)