Party like it's post 1999

[PNWbrit]

Good luck with your luggage.

I can assure you that getting reacquainted with your delayed bags in South America is possibly the most frustrating experience imaginable

[baseWeldr]

nice line
have fun down there
say hi to winter for us

[enlosandes]

Like your style. Hopefully, the weather cooperates and the Andes do you right!

[Cono Este]

I want the play by play from the airport when you arrive. How many line cutters did you drop?

[FrankZappa]

A most excellent read B-Trayc. Can't wait for chapter two.

[bklyn]

Jeremy Jones is seated 1 row ahead of me on my flight from Dallas to Santiago.
He's very relaxed unlike the other SA bound skiers and boarders who can't keep still or quiet flashing their dakine packs and burton caps talking 'bout "sick lines" and "heli drops" in over loud and slightly pretentious tones. Jeremy spots my TGR scribble hoody and gives me a shy look, but that's the extent of my brush with snowboard stardom.

Let's play seatback-and-tray-table-a-go-go

Seatbacks to the full upright and seatbelts on and locked. Takeoff, beverage service, tray table down, sorry out of ginger ale, wait I've got one left. May I have a red wine? That will be five dollars. What? No longer free on international? No thanks.

Seatbelt sign off, lines for el banos. Seatback pushed back, man behind me pissed off. Sorry, I do need to sleep. Revenge ensues, flapping his tray table and kneeing me in the back. No problem, I sleep like the dead.

Food cart rattles in food smells wake me up. Chicken pasta or beef potato? Sleep and then breakfast is served above the Andes.

Santiago airport, 100 dollar Americano tax, por favor and a reunion with my friends. At baggage claim I become acquainted with the fact that SCL (Santiago) and SLC (Salt Lake City) are very similar and dyslexic baggage handlers can get them confused easily, even if it is the wrong season. My bags will arrive tomorrow afternoon. No boots, no skis, no clothes and no liquids = no problemo. I'm in Chile and my SA adventure has begun. FKNA!

The road to Valle Nevado climbs from sea level to over 10,000 feet. It is best read by the trees - palms then small groves of cherries and apples then high desert cacti then no trees at all. Every switchback reveals a new vantage point and then gives way to misty clouds that shroud the landscape. A light dusting turns quickly to a freshly plowed 7 foot high one lane tunnel of snow. I see why the Incas chose these high places for their sacrificial mummies. I'm ready to make a sacrifice to the gods for a safe and successful trip and I'd like to choose the guy in the back of the bus passing the most foul and putrid gas as his body attempts to adjust to the change in elevation.

Stoke is high as we arrive, the road has just opened and everything is covered in a thick white blanket...

So much has happened in the last few days, so I must press fast forward just a bit.
Day 1 -
Check in sort things out.
No time to ski today.
Rental shop is closed although all the employees are still in there.
I learn the nuances of the word - mañana. Rentals? Mañana. Luggage? Mañana.
We meet a movie star at dinner from my hometown who is very nice if you know how to work imdb 0117146, but please respect her privacy and don't link to her or post her photo in this thread or reference her in a way that identifies her further. Comprende?

Day 2 -
It is hard to find quality underlayers in SA, but I'm not borrowing a base layer from the boys.
Boot sizing en Espanol: Veinti cinco y cinco por favor, no veinte siete y cinco. Because tamaño del zapato y dos is evidently they way they calculate.
I find out that I can still slay it in sloppy rental boots and poles, my buddies old apache outlaws and his oversized clothes.
The altitude is kicking my ass in ways I've never experienced before.
We ski off and separate into groups, I am the only woman officially in this clinic. Let the poop, fart and porn references begin.
Wind crust - pow - wind crust - pow - wind crust - flat light - pow - high speed groomer - tres puntas poma - OW.
The tres puntas poma can seriously hurt your coochie.
My luggage has arrived, and I've not been so excited to be reunited with material possessions in recent memory.

Sunsets here are beautiful, I hope the clouds will clear.


Day 3 -
It's all about the flat light and fog.
I'm wearing my own clothes! I'm so fresh and so clean in so many ways.
Never been seasick, never really experienced dizziness or vertigo before... today.
If you see something that looks like food in the snow, don't ever pick it up or touch it. I left it there under very bad circumstances.
Can't see a damn thing... did I just huck a 15 footer in the dark by mistake? Yes. OW.
Went to an avalanche orientation and the instructor takes one look at me and doesn't believe I have my own beacon and know how to use it.
At the bar, the movie star remembers my name and the boys' names too. They are in love, I am impressed. She is very cool. Do not link to her. Do not.
I meet a guy named Clark, with a CPG jacket. I ask him if he knows Owens, he asks me if I am a maggot.
Stars are out tonight, we try to find the southern cross. Could tomorrow really be possible?

The sunset view is outside the window, can you see it through the fog?

Day 4 -
Is a picture really worth a thousand words? How about a few?

It's a bluebird day, so we're cleared to fly - the orientation starts on how to act around the helicopter.


The first set of four takes flight.


The paradise we will be headed to because we're next to go.
They weighed us, flaca I am not.


My friend TG goofing around. We're headed to the sweet line you see behind him.


I am huffing and puffing like a runaway slave, but we're at about 14K, here 3/4 of the way down the 1st run.
I felt like the weakest link, not really being exposed to exertion at altitudes above 12.


Our landing zone is down by the river, we got almost 6K vert on run 1. So we are resting and regrouping here.
Fantastic views in every direction.


Another group in the LZ. Old hat for some of you, but new to me.
Clark is a really great guide (hint hint Owens) his group skied a run with us also.


This time I brought my camera inside the chopper. They told us not to bring big heavy cameras in our packs.
I told them, hey, I'm a professional.


Happy faces in the chopper p1 - TG & Adam


Happy faces in the chopper p2 - me & Hockney


The view across from our crazy landing zone, the highest they have done with this company.
18K peak we're at 16K. I am huffing like a 8 month pregnant woman at lamaze class.


I can't believe we are going to ski this couloir on run 2. Virgin territory for the company.
I wish I could show you where and how we landed and the (to me) knife edge ridges we were dropped on.
Either I have underestimated myself, or they are really dying to do this line client safety be dammed.


Taking a breather at the end of the couloir, you can see our tracks, but not the very top because it turns sharply away from this vantage point.
Conditions inside were variable from windbuff to ice to nice pow on the apron(?) still a jong about mtn terms.
2500 more vert to go to the LZ. I am so whipped. Took a small fall and had to self arrest and also regroup. I did use the mind to overcome my physical limitations and keep pushing, there were times when my body really wanted to quit. Still I wish I had the mental game together a little better. Next time. After this I had to put the camera away and pay close attention to where we were going, lots more exposure as we continued below meant no more playing around with the pack.

[Mofro261]

I quite like day 4.




Great read/pics so far.

[FrankZappa]

Jeremy spots my TGR scribble hoody and gives me a shy look, but that's the extent of my brush with snowboard stardom.

Day 4 -
Is a picture really worth a thousand words? How about a few?



- more details later...

I bet you could've made him blush with your FKNA T steaz.

What's with your ski? Didn't it know it was gonna be cold in AuG?


Thanks for the update & keep 'em comin'.

[Jim S]

Stoke City!

[Mtn Man]

- more details later...

These pics make me happy in the pants.....
Did you actually hit these two lines???

Keep the stokerage coming baby!!!

B)

[snowsprite]

Shit, someday I'll write a TR like that. Trayc you're inspiring me to get this SA thing done sooner than later!

Please, more details and then some... for the cube-bound.

Sprite

[shamrockpow]

You got to heli-ski off of the side slopes of El Plomo? Kick Ass!

I worked at VN for a short time in that same rental shop. Never did get to make it that far back OB, but the mountain itself does have great underrated terrain in shouting distance even w/o a heli. Hope the rest of your trip turns out as well as day 4!

PS: your friend has 106 pics in her IMDB gallery, but no profile pic? Maybe it's time for a new agent...

[shmerham]

1000 words? I'm thinking more like one: Wow!

Tell your friend I really liked her work in 0274415

[bklyn]

These pics make me happy in the pants.....
Did you actually hit these two lines???

Keep the stokerage coming baby!!!

B)

It's all the same line and the answer is yes. I added some captions to clarify what was going on.

[iskibc]

Sweetness. I'm loving your reports trayc. Keep 'em coming.

[splat]

Yo, Tracy!

OK, I'm jealous.

[powstash]

I just wanted to be sure that I was in on this soon to be instant classic thread.

the "huffing like a 8 month pregnant woman at lamaze class." had me rolling.

[lemon boy]

bump, rawk out with your something out!

[GoldMember]

Awesome TR! Looks like some great lines there. I want some!

[BushwackerinPA]

I want some!

and what may you be talking about?

awesome pics trac, and I speak for every sweaty american right now.....we are so freaking jealous.

[mtnbikerskierchick]

Great writing in your post bklntrac! It was a fun read - your security discussion brings me back to the hassles I experience just a couple of days ago, coming back from Argentina! Way to capture the moment! And way to TR your trip! Love it!

Love this pic especially.

[Dside11-11]

No offense to them, and I think they'll agree, there are people here with 3 TIMES the post count that don't have 1/2 the presence here that you do. Fucking powerhouse! Or should I say BREICK....HOWWWSE!

Good read - thanks!

[Big Tim]

FKNA post of the summer.............

[Big Tim]

16k................. You need to pack in some of this http://ecom1.sno-ski.com/product340.html It's yummy when that high.

[Tri-Ungulate]

Pics are juicy, narrative is far jucier, you've got the writing steeze for sure trayc. I'm fully enjoying the vicarious traveler and snow stoke while its 90F outside up in the Northern Hemisphere.

Thanks.

BTW, speaking of actors living in the Bklyn area, you wouldn't happen to hobnob with 0942482, wouldya? Good friend and old college housemate of mine, who I figgered might fly in the same circles as you.