Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**carvedog** · 01-04-2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by pbourdon

Similar to the video linked to earlier there are just too many good quotes in this one for me to pick just one out....

too many is right.
One that stood out - "the expert is in the ski already" and ...
"you just go weeee, weeee"

**emr** · 01-04-2009, 01:43 PM

Standing in the tram a guy yells out "Are those water skis? Those are the biggest skis I've ever seen. What do you do with those? Are they custom?" My 194xxl. I guess he missed the big fucking Dynastar on the whole tip.

Its not always what some of these fuckers say but how loud they say it at. Why are you yelling, I am standing two feet from you... It must be tough hearing through their winter hat, helmet and hood wrapped in a scarf!

**Ted Striker** · 01-04-2009, 02:21 PM

"The expert is in the ski" Heard it before but it still makes me laugh (and cringe). Anyone else notice that they spelled the url wrong?

weeee!

**PBR** · 01-04-2009, 03:33 PM

I heard a lady, who was a huge gaper, that was skiing with an advanced gaper say, "You're beautiful, you dance so elegantly down the mountain."

**Ccard257** · 01-04-2009, 05:06 PM

"If I had season rentals, I would DEMAND pretty."

- some teenage guy this morning.

**T-Boz** · 01-04-2009, 07:01 PM

Northstar New Years day, gaperfest!!! Many jeans and gators, many fag bags, many google gapes. This one guy behind us in line was going on about some nonsense he said, "I shold have brought my other skis these ones keep Shattering at high speeds." I almost "shattered" my pants. The he said "I wish I had my El Caminos those don't shatter as bad". HE had on like 1995 Solomon X-creams, and when did el caminos come out? 1998. Classic

**grock5000** · 01-04-2009, 07:17 PM

Cypress Bowl parking lot.. Barbie girl's car with summer tires is stuck in 30cm of new snow since she parked. I ask if she has chains.. she says "this is vancouver, they're all-seasons.. whatever".. Comedy Gold!

**booner** · 01-04-2009, 07:33 PM

Today..."Let's start an avalanche." I also witnessed the best lift unload fall ever. Gaper female about 50 years old fell backwards so her arms went up and out like she was doing the "Y" in the YMCA song. Her poles went about 30 feet in the air.

**televback1** · 01-04-2009, 08:50 PM

"Vail resorts should connect Breck to Keystone...and make Imperial a magic carpet."

Along with standing in Chair 11 liftline today when I snaked infront of a guy to get to some friends when I got infront of him he swung his pole at me hitting me in the leg. My dad a few people in front who never gets mad says, "I will beat our ass little man shut the fuck up." The guy said some stuff back and it ended with," Take that Yameca and your Jewish ass back to New York." Good times at Vail!

**Catdaddyxx** · 01-04-2009, 08:55 PM

not really gaper'ish but good ones from my last trip to WP/MJ.

While taking my recently started 4 year old son down an easy green a boarder bit it right in front of us. As he skis around him he loudy says "Ha Ha you crashed" I corrected him right away to the effect that it wasn't nice to say things like that. To which his imediate response was "but daddy.....he was a boarder" I was laughing so hard I had to stop.

That morning after getting off of the new gondola from the free parking to the base I'm trying to keep a galking 4 year old walking in a straight line and I see a couple behind us. Had said hello earlier like I do to just about anyone with a smile on thier face and looking in my direction. He is decked out in nice gear with skis over the shoulder and wasn't wearing a helmet. His wife was behind him with a snowboard and a helmet. About that time the hubby turns and cracks her in the head/helmet with the back of his skis. I prepare for holy hell to rain down on him like it would have on me if I were still married to my gorgon of an x-wife. She just smiles at us and says "now you know why I wear a helmet." Now that's good people.

**Panama_Red** · 01-04-2009, 09:04 PM

saw some kid in the lift line at loveland carrying his snowboard; decked out in an orange one-piece hunting suit and bicycle helmet without the shell. priceless

**julesrules** · 01-04-2009, 09:14 PM

Walking back to the car on Kirkwood Meadows Rd. right before Timber Creek this past Saturday - a older man in an SUV leans out the window and asks me "Is Kirkwood this way?"

"Um yeah it is - the main ticket area is just down the road."

"OK? For skiers right?"

"Yeah for everybody!" (i was carrying a snowboard)

It was pretty funny.

**kttate75** · 01-04-2009, 09:20 PM

Not skiing related, but I was living in Anchorage a few years ago when my roommate had a buddy from NY visiting. They had gone for a hike that day, and his buddy (in thick Bronx accent) said on the phone "Yo - check this out! I saw a husband moose AND a wife moose!"

**Making a Pizza** · 01-04-2009, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by kttate75

Not skiing related, but I was living in Anchorage a few years ago when my roommate had a buddy from NY visiting. They had gone for a hike that day, and his buddy (in thick Bronx accent) said on the phone "Yo - check this out! I saw a husband moose AND a wife moose!"

Is he sure they weren't just F buddy meese?

**72Twenty** · 01-04-2009, 09:35 PM

This made me laugh - last week at Targhee I was walking back to my truck and a guy commented on my helmet cam. He was like "is that a video camera?" and I was explaining how it worked to him. His wife and daughter were with him, and very loudly he says "you could use that to make some good pornos!" The look on his wife's face was priceless.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 01-04-2009, 09:48 PM

The gapers at Moonlight tend to keep to themselves so I don't get any good quotes. Apparently, it's pretty difficult to load and unload from a fucking chair lift because it has been stopping and slowing down a lot this holiday season. Which is just great when is bitter cold and windy. They don't even slow the lift down for ski patrol dogs, and the six shooter couldn't come around the wheel house any slower. You know what you are if you can't get on and off a lift? Dumber than a dog.
Yesterday the guy next to me grabbed the safety bar and said "Want it down?" I said "no", and there was a pretty awkward silence after that. Hey, he gave me a choice!
Also, there is practically never a lift line a MLB, so I can just hang back when I see a bunch of people with rentals or 20 year old shit, and get the next lift.
And I am from NY and I am so local. Kidding.

**kttate75** · 01-04-2009, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by Making a Pizza

Is he sure they weren't just F buddy meese?

They might have been deer that just kept heading north ...

**XtrPickels** · 01-04-2009, 09:53 PM

Today, as I was surfing the couch after a decent day on the hill, I came across some Gems. There's too many to pick just one, so I'll quote the whole thing...

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

The gapers at Moonlight tend to keep to themselves so I don't get any good quotes. Apparently, it's pretty difficult to load and unload from a fucking chair lift because it has been stopping and slowing down a lot this holiday season. Which is just great when is bitter cold and windy. They don't even slow the lift down for ski patrol dogs, and the six shooter couldn't come around the wheel house any slower. You know what you are if you can't get on and off a lift? Dumber than a dog.
Yesterday the guy next to me grabbed the safety bar and said "Want it down?" I said "no", and there was a pretty awkward silence after that. Hey, he gave me a choice!
And I am from NY and I am so local. Kidding.

jus' yankin your chain buddy.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 01-04-2009, 09:57 PM

I can take it.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 01-04-2009, 10:03 PM

OMG, I couldn't even watch that whole video. I think the key the Anton's problem, is that he's a shitty skier. "A poor carpenter blames his tools."

**birdskier** · 01-04-2009, 10:06 PM

"So I was going down the cattrack and I heard someone behind me say on your right. So i went right and he hit me."

**televback1** · 01-04-2009, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by ColoradoBCSkier

? Also, earlier that day, I may have inadvertently saved a few tourist's lives when I spotted them about to ski down the Backside of Battle Mountain, after hiking the sidecountry off Earl's Bowl.... the guy was trying to talk his wife into it, he was like "Hey! look at how untracked that side is over there, it's not too steep either honey, lets go check it out!"

ya I was out there today and a idiot has wandered over to the small cliffs area and I was with some buddies taking pictures and skiing hard all day. The kid looks super scared and is pro skiing on 160's so we lead the kid to gully to take back to Earls. We tell the kid not to go back there because you can get hurt and all that BS.Couple runs of lovers leap we head back over there and the kid is back. I just wish he would have listned. But i bet he had all his rescue gear in his sweet Dakine pack!

**f2f** · 01-04-2009, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by televback1

ya I was out there today and a idiot has wandered over to the small cliffs area and I was with some buddies taking pictures and skiing hard all day. The kid looks super scared and is pro skiing on 160's so we lead the kid to gully to take back to Earls. We tell the kid not to go back there because you can get hurt and all that BS.Couple runs of lovers leap we head back over there and the kid is back. I just wish he would have listned. But i bet he had all his rescue gear in his sweet Dakine pack!

i'm sure the kid had brought all his buddies with him to show-off his hardcore "hey, i'm a local now" knowledge of the "hard parts", eh?

similar story from some time ago: a friend just starting up skiing gets his first "powder day" on 20cm of fresh. since then they refuse to ski anything but "powder" because it's, apparently, the best.

**FREESKIER_FIVE-0** · 01-04-2009, 11:36 PM

I just started ski patrol this week so I've heard quite a few already.

Me and another patroller see this kid walking down a somewhat steeper beginner run and go over to see what is wrong. "I don't know, my snowboard won't move at all."

us: "Do you have any idea why?"

"No, my buddy waxed it last night."

us: "What kind of wax did he use?"

"Candle Wax"

After an incredible amount of snow pretty early in the season here in Wyoming, our mountain is completely covered. We got almost fifty inches in one week and all runs are open, and almost every (small, its all we have) drop has disappeared under the snow. Its more snow than we've had the past few years. I was riding up with some people that I've never seen before who obviously aren't from the area.

"Man, I can't believe we're having such a bad winter. I can't wait until we get some real snow."

He then proceeded to ask me if I could show him some "my secret spots." This is at a ski resort with two lifts, and 1,000 vertical. Its pretty obvious. I told him what you see is what you get.

**cmsummit** · 01-12-2009, 10:44 AM

TeleHoar and I skied East Vail on Saturday. After our first lap, I got on the bus and sat down next to this guy. He turns to me in amazement and says, "Did you guys just ski the face?!" I laughed and told him what we skied was called Watertower.